IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO TRY AGAIN
One of the most valuable lessons I am learning as a parent raising young adults is this: it is never too late to start again.
We often hear the words:
“Train up a child in the way he should go…”
And rightly so.
The early years matter.
Children are impressionable. Habits can be formed early. Character can be shaped early. Values can be established early.
So yes, start early.
But what happens when you didn't?
What happens when life happened?
What happens when you were still learning how to parent while your children were growing?
What happens when you look at your child today and suddenly notice something you wish you had addressed years ago?
Do you throw your hands in the air and say, “Well, it's too late now”?
I don't think so.
I am learning that parenting is also a journey of learning.
There are things I know today that I did not know when my children were younger. There are things I understand now that I didn't understand then. There are things I probably would have done differently if I had today's knowledge twenty years ago.
But what would be the point of beating myself up over what I did not know?
Knowledge comes in stages. Growth comes in stages. Even parents grow.
Sometimes, we discover a gap in our children's development only when they are older. Sometimes, a particular character issue becomes more visible as a child enters a new stage of life. Sometimes, we ourselves become more aware and realise:
“Ah! This is something we need to work on.”
And I am learning not to despise that realisation.
Instead, I am learning to ask:
“What can I do about it now?”
IT MAY BE HARDER, BUT HARDER DOES NOT MEAN IMPOSSIBLE
Let's be honest.
Training a young adult is not the same as training a five-year-old.
You cannot simply say, “Because I said so,” and expect the same results.
A young adult has opinions, experiences, habits and an established way of seeing things. They may question you. They may challenge your suggestions. And sometimes, you have to repeat yourself.
Again.
And again.
And again.
You may even begin to wonder:
“Am I making any difference at all?”
But perhaps that is where patience comes in.
Perhaps this is where we learn that influence is not always immediate. Sometimes, the seed takes longer to germinate.
As children grow, our approach to parenting must also grow. We may need to move from simply giving instructions to having meaningful conversations, listening, explaining, modelling and allowing them to take responsibility for their choices.
It may require more patience, but that doesn't mean our influence has come to an end.
THE BIBLE GIVES US HOPE FOR RESTORATION
Joel 2:25 contains one of the most beautiful promises of restoration:
“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten…”
There is something powerful about serving a God who restores.
In its original context, this passage speaks of God's promise to restore His people after a period of devastation. It is not a guarantee that every consequence of our parenting mistakes will simply disappear. But it reminds us of God's restorative nature and gives us reason to approach Him with hope.
And I believe that is important even in parenting.
No, we cannot rewrite the past.
We cannot go back and give our children the training we wish we had given them at age seven.
But we can bring what we have TODAY to God.
We can pray.
We can apologise where necessary.
We can have conversations.
We can model what we want to see.
We can introduce new habits.
We can encourage.
We can teach.
We can keep showing up.
And we can trust God to work in ways that are beyond our own ability.
SOMETIMES THE PARENT ALSO NEEDS TRAINING
This is another thing I am learning.
Perhaps the child is not the only person who needs to change.
Sometimes, God is using our children's lives to train US.
To make us more patient.
More intentional.
More observant.
More prayerful.
Less controlling.
More willing to listen.
More willing to admit:
“I didn't know this before, but I know it now.”
Parenting can expose areas of our own lives that need attention. It can reveal our impatience, our assumptions, our fears and even our unwillingness to change.
And sometimes, while we are trying to teach our children, God is teaching us too.
When we know better, we can do better.
That doesn't mean we failed irredeemably.
It means we are still learning.
AND THEN THERE ARE THE LATE BLOOMERS
We must never forget them.
Not every person develops at the same pace.
Some people find themselves at twenty what another person discovered at fifteen.
Some mature emotionally later.
Some discover discipline later.
Some discover purpose later.
Some become responsible later.
Some encounter God in a deeper way later.
And some people simply need more time, more repetition, more exposure and more encouragement before something finally clicks.
So perhaps we should be careful about writing people off because they have not become what we expected them to become by the age we expected them to.
Growth does not always follow our preferred timetable.
The fact that someone is not where we thought they should be does not necessarily mean they cannot get there.
THE STORY IS NOT NECESSARILY FINISHED
There is still room for growth.
There is still room for maturity.
There is still room for transformation.
And there is still room for God.
So, what do we do when we discover that we started late?
We START.
That's it.
Start where you are.
Pray where you are.
Teach where you are.
Talk where you are.
Model where you are.
Correct where you are.
Encourage where you are.
And keep going.
Don't allow guilt over yesterday to paralyse your responsibility today.
Maybe you missed an opportunity.
Maybe you didn't know what you know now.
Maybe you could have done better.
Fine.
Acknowledge it.
Learn from it.
Ask God for mercy.
And then get back to work.
Because the goal is not to produce a perfect childhood. The goal is to raise people who can eventually stand on their own, know what is right, make wise decisions, take responsibility for their lives and become the people God created them to be.
And if the journey takes longer than we expected?
So be it.
We keep walking.
We keep praying.
We keep teaching.
We keep loving.
We keep believing.
Because sometimes the greatest testimony is not that we got everything right from the beginning.
Sometimes it is that we recognised what needed to change and had the courage to begin again.
And perhaps that is a lesson not only for parents.
Perhaps it is for us personally too.
Is there something in your own life that you think is now “too late” to address?
Is there a habit you wish you had developed earlier?
Is there something you didn't teach your children when they were younger that you now realise is important?
WHAT IF IT ISN'T TOO LATE?
What if you simply need to begin again?
A SIMPLE APPLICATION FOR PARENTS
This week, think of ONE area in your child's life that you believe needs attention.
Don't try to fix everything at once.
Ask yourself:
- What exactly am I seeing?
- What do I wish I had started earlier?
- What can I realistically begin doing now?
- What part of this needs prayer?
- What can I model rather than merely teach?
- What small step can we repeat consistently?
Then begin.
Not perfectly.
Not with frustration.
Not with regret.
Just begin.
Because late is better than never.
And with God, we should never be too quick to declare a person, a situation or even ourselves a finished story.